Tonight, I crawled up into my bed and scrolled through my twitter feed until I stumbled upon a tweet that spoke straight to my heart. I reread it a few times before searching for page to write it down upon. I clicked straight through to rest of this individual's tweets and just sat dumbfounded at the wrenching of my heart. The scripture, the quotes of Christ's love for humanity, the truth, the mercy, the joy, and the compassion just broke into my little hardened heart.
For so long I wanted to be strong, to be tough, to be unbreakable. I grew tired of being criticized for being too directionless, not ambitious enough, and without the same mind set. The part of me, so eager to please, wanted to grow into a lady who never wavered under the judgement of others. With this intention, I ceased to remember what it felt like to know that "[His] grace is sufficient for [me], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness".
In my search for a scrap of paper I found a journal that was given to me by one of my neighbor's after my dad's funeral. I tucked his funeral bulletin in the journal and stuck it deep inside my closet and never wanted to open it or look at it again. Having completely forgotten this, I stretched up onto my tip-toes and jumped to grab the still vacant journal.
With my heart racing, I started whispering out loud to the Lord. With my new journal and with my brand new bible, I googled: How to start reading the Bible. I realized in a way, I was starting over. I was starting fresh. He waiting for me while I was hurting and skeptical.
Also, inside the journal, I found a book mark tucked inside addressed to me, " And they remembered that God was their rock. And the Most High God their redeemer" - Psalm 78:35
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