mornings

Oh how I've missed my mornings. Completely my fault. I still sleep only 8 hours a night. My sleeping schedule just shifted from 12am- 8am to 3am -11am. Last night I could hardly sleep at all.

It's an odd thing..being mostly blind without glasses. When I get ready for bed at night I take out my contacts and put on my very thick big brown glasses. After I remove this waking up in the middle of the night feels so strange. much like i'm still dreaming. everything surrounding me is out of focus, edgeless, and blurred. It's like I'm the only thing that exists. Only my thoughts and my own being.  when you can't sleep....this is almost the last feeling you desire to possess.

I awoke around 7 this morning. I've been reading interpreter and I'm just about to finish outside on the back porch. it's still early enough to be cool.

I love being home. I love the way my house smells. I love the way the hardwood floors feel under my feet. and I particularly love the way my german shepherd gallops around in circles as if she's horse when she's excited to me.

today is going to be a long day of packing and planning. I'm skimming through anthropologie's may magazine. it's gorgeous and featured in india. it look stunning...and I find myself desiring the background much more than the featured clothes. it looks romantic and lush in way that you know that learning the history would be bewitching to the point that one may not want to leave. I also think I've always had completely unrealistic notations about india. Surili informed me that Holi is much more of "grope fest" than a celebration for the burning of holika. Needtoless to say, I was very disappointed. this is the one international festival that I most wanted to attend. I imagined the excitement could revival that of christmas morning, thanksgiving feast, or the fireworks of the fourth of july.  I suppose I just need to learn more about other culture's holidays and festivals. Surely, I'll find one I'm equally curious and excited about.