Sunday, June 27, 2010
ehhh....overwhelmed.
I'll get around to updating about everything new...but right now I'm just sitting in bed...alone in this room...and feeling honestly a little overwhelmed. The past few days have been really terrific and adventurous but today I moved in with my host family. Sarah and I each have our own rooms, which I'm sure with time will be seen as a blessing but as of right now I just wish someone else was here that I could talk to. My host family is wonderful. They speak very little English and I speak very little spanish. I might speak the least amount of spanish out of everyone doing this program this summer. My head hurts from trying so hard to understand, learn, and remember. Since the initial meeting earlier today with angeles and maria (host mom and her daughter) I have been attempting to give 100% in order to understand and learn how everything here works...but my spanish is just so limited. I'm in over my head. I don't usually feel easily intimidated or overwhelmed and I don't mind being uncomfortable....I've just never felt so limited? I don't know the word that I'm looking for. I have no voice here. I struggle to make even the simplest sentences. It's frustrating. I can't express myself and vocalize how I feel and that liberty seems so quintessential to who I am. I can't even offer to help with the dishes or express how truly appreciative I am of something. I don't know how to even process how this makes me feel yet. I'm just here wide-eyed, nodding, and smiling until something starts to click.
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well well..my dear tt made it to espana alright! your trip sounds very interesting thus far and it will only continue to get more intruiging..i promise! Don't fret at your current situation-confused and spanish-less (not quite but close :) ) Stick in there and really try to learn. They LOVE teaching you and LOVE when you show an effort to learn THEIR language. Its also fun to help them try and speak english(but thats not what you're there for!) so yeah, you're gonna do great, keep it up! I miss you LOTS!
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